If the question is, "Why Tinder?" and not one of the other dating sites, I imagine my response would echo that of most law students who hopped on to the same app. I. Don’t. Have. Time. To. Date.
Accepting or rejecting a guy via a quick finger swipe on my iPhone during commutes to and from school is simply using time wisely. There is always at least some time on the bus and train to chat with new people (a.k.a. look at hot men). During rush hour, I'm able to allot a solid half hour to this task.
Flash back to a year and a half ago. I'm sitting in law school orientation, and one of the speakers is lecturing our incoming class about a weekly meeting for couples - emphasizing that relationships and marriages have a tendency to be strained due to the intense and rigorous schedule we are about to take on. These meetings are meant to help partners develop the necessary skills to stay together through these trying times. I rolled my eyes, twice. I don't need couples therapy. We'll be just fine.
I was wrong, and we weren’t.
I’ve spent the last six months haphazardly grabbing onto new theories about what went wrong, and a common thread among them seems to involve law school. Sitting in class after this realization made me angry, sad, anxious, and upset. Law school is not fun, it does not make me happy, and the notion that I lost something that did because of it is hard to stomach.
I had to get away, to take a break from school and from my head. I left for San Francisco and visited my big brother. At some point during the weekend, we had a very on-the-surface conversation about dating when I blurted out my typical (and convenient) excuse, “I don’t have time to date." His response was simple. “Make the time.”
This wasn’t a, "you’re-getting-old" kind of chat. It was coming from my brother who was "too busy" to date for years and was giving his little sister some advice on balance: advice he once could have used himself.
I got back from SF with the goal of making some time. Tinder was a pretty good way to do that. No, I’m not naïve, and I am very aware that it’s The Hookup App (I never knew so many shorter men have fantasized about being with a taller woman) but some of the chats I’ve had with guys have made me smile, laugh, think, and blush - and that feels good.
As of this morning I have been on three dates using Tinder. The dates were fun. The dates were adventurous. Each date challenged me to peek outside of my comfort zone. The dates didn’t take that much time.