By Annie Marron
It’s official. I am now an online dater. Well, an online flirter at least. After digging in my heels for years a friend convinced me to make a profile. And, surprisingly, I totally love it. It’s so fun, the flood of messages and attention from these men working so hard to sell themselves. Why doesn’t this happen in my real life? They’re all looking for love online, but in person could kind of care less.
“Oh, you. Standing there, do I have to be bothered to talk to you? Yawn.”
Then online I’m the cat’s pajamas (or is it another feline reference I seek) and every man age 26-52 wants to throw down for a dinner date.
Maybe I’m breaking the shy barrier by going online. Is it that by essentially announcing my availability, becoming easily shoppable, I have broken through some deep-seated fears people have? Now they can click and choose who to date with the gentle veneer of technology to block the fall if someone’s not interested. So clever. So effective! But how is it that apparently I’m so much more attractive when met online than in person?!
I was chatting about this with a girlfriend the other night after dancing.
I was like, “What’s the deal. No one EVER hits on me.”
She disagreed. I very correctly pointed out that the only person who approached me that evening was a very nerdy young man and he didn’t count. And, let's be clear, he wasn't nerdy in that ‘secretly sexy even in tights’ Clark Kent way. Oh no. No, he came up to me and began listing streets he had lived on as a substitute for small talk. My friend was engaged with his cute, and conversationally functional, buddy and I was just kind of gaping at this guy thinking “Why. Whyuuuuuh are you telling me your roster of home addresses over the last three years?!”
Fortunately he was at least nice. It seems like the only other men that do actually approach women at bars are those guys sending classy online messages such as, “Sup girl…u wanna chat 2night? You got a nice ass”, or have an online user name like “uFineLets69”. The guys that usually approach me in person are not the cute, witty men who send grammatically correct messages online and want to meet up for fun dates. The very same cute men who seem so disinterested when I’m out and about on the town. Where’s the disconnect?
Whatever the reason for this dissonance, I’m okay with it. For all the shit I talk about online dating, so far it’s really fun! If you’ve never done it, you have to try it. I’m a proud proponent of everybody making an online profile and flirting with strangers. Maybe I have a different outlook than some, as I’m not really looking for something (or someone) in particular. I’m just looking to have fun, make out, go dancing, and meet some spicy friends. I might be more frustrated if I had a timeline like kids (holy shit, 34? It’s baby time!), or marriage, but right now I’m not attached to either of those outcomes.
Right now I’m just appreciating all this new attention. And all the fun, funny, ridiculous, and sexy stories that are accumulating as a result of this venture into the online world. Stay tuned for next Friday. Because it’s gonna get saucy.
This story first appeared in Ladyish.